Age of Attraction

When I was still an undergrad and aspiring to be a psychologist I wondered how therapists handled clients they didn’t particularly like. I swore that my clients would only consist of people with real needs whom I could lend a sympathetic ear. And then I met Laura.

I’ve already mentioned her love of Botox and disdain for her husband, Steven. Today I learned about her twins, whom she affectionately refers to as the “pretty one” and the “runty one.” What does that mean, you ask? She took the pretty one to meet a child modeling agent and was shocked when the agent wanted to sign the runty one due to her “edgy look.” I spent the session trying to get Laura to realize that we often place too much value on one’s looks, which can be perceived differently to everyone.  

“I suppose,” she concurred. “But you're not really one to talk. I don’t see you chasing down the doogie door.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You’re a size 4, with a yoga butt and perky boobs. You’re not going to exactly attract the leftovers.”

I wasn’t going to give up this fight. “I wouldn’t go out with someone strictly because of their looks. A relationship based solely on looks will never last.”

Laura weighed what I was saying in her mind. “I guess even ugly people fall in love.” 

I know. She’s horrible.

And then I drove home unable to escape my darkest fears. What if there's a speck of truth to Laura? Are any of us able to escape raw attraction. Would we want to?

There’s the maid who captured Marc’s attention. (Attention -- defined in ancient Chinese text as groping hands with wandering dick.) 

My client, Nate, whose wife cheated, has the cutest dimples that I could just kiss, along with his gorgeous mouth, broad chest...but I digress. You can tell that I’m having a wee bit of trouble being impartial to his desire to save his marriage. (I’ve actually given serious consideration to the mental health benefits derived from taking him on the couch.)

And then there’s the devastatingly handsome Adam. That one will be my downfall. If ever there was a man to stay away from...Or perhaps I should get to know him and then I would certainly realize that looks are meaningless when your personality is dominating and controlling. Unless, of course, that’s what I’m after.